If I Had My Child to Raise Over Again by Diane Loomans

If I had my child to raise all over again,
I'd finger-paint more, and point the fingers less.
I would do less correcting and more connecting.
I'd take my eyes off my watch, and watch with my eyes.
I would care to know less and know to care more.
I'd take more hikes and fly more kites.
I'd stop playing serious, and seriously play.
I would run through more fields and gaze at more stars.

I'd do more hugging and less tugging.
I'd build self-esteem first, and the house later.
I would be firm less often, and affirm much more.
I'd teach less about the love of power, And more about the power of love.

Sunday, January 9, 2011

To conclude....

     Parenting is a time that can be very rewarding but it takes dedication and a lot of time before you will get to a point where you are on a smooth road to success.  Sometimes, that road may be a bumpy ride but in the end, when you are able to look back and see all which you have accomplished, it's all worth it and the feeling of satisfaction is beyond anything that can be measured.

     Being a parent is truly a learning experience by all.  Nothing can really prepare you for what lies ahead when you have become a parent for the first time.  Being a parent has a "trial and error" type of learning process that eventually, there are less errors and more successes.  One thing you have to remember, is that there really isn't a true right or wrong way of being a parent, except for the obvious.  You have to understand that what may work for one parent and his/her child, may not work for yours.  Or you may be able to take a little bit from the advice from one parent and some from another to then blend it with your own. Each child requires their own unique process of being taught, guided and most importantly loved.... no two children are alike!

     As I look back at the way I was parented, and even the way my Grandparents taught my parents, I noticed that, in my opinion, it has gotten more complicated and difficult.  Not that the children themselves have really changed, it is more of a shift in society and how we have more obstacles to overcome.  You have the single parents, the dual working parents, the military parents and even the grand "parents" who are the parents of their children, children.  I look back how the mom would stay home with their children, and I feel that to a point, that did help with the upbringing of the children.  That was her job, her main concern, and she was able to concentrate completely on her children.  Now-a-days, you have the mother who loves her children very dearly, but she also has a career that she much concentrate on and at times, managing both can be quite stressful and complicated.  And its not just about the mother.  You have fathers that are the single parents and are trying to juggle it all to make ends meet, along with having a loving atmosphere with lasting memories for his children. 

     Society, to me, has gotten out of control and sometimes we need to stop take a long, deep look at what is important and what we are missing out on as parents as we are trying to succeed at everything else.  The pressures that are upon us are plentiful and were not the only ones that feel it.... so do our children.  Military families have even more pressures as one or even both parents are serving their country and at any given notice, they could be gone to defend their country.  We sometimes forget that the children of these families also feel that pressure and are scared if their parent will be coming back to them.  Through love and reassurance, we can help them accept the pressures that come with these families.  But no matter what kind of family you are, you all have your own unique situations and the skills of parents are tested every day.

     Last, as parents, you don't normally think about how you might have to be parents to your own parents someday.  That is another area of concern that is rising as the baby boomers are aging and becoming to an age where they require more love and attention, just like when we all were little babies.  This requires a new phase of parenting that will still require dedication, patience and love. 

     Any type of parenting, young or old, is a constant learning process that will never be completely mastered.  Hopefully as you grow older and wiser though, you learn from your previous mistakes and are able to apply what you have learned to new situations and also provide some advice to the new, young parents that are just beginning the process.  Either way, I just hope you are able to enjoy the process and cherish the memories you will create because before you know it, it will all be over with and you will be the grandparent, giving all the unconditional love to your own grandchild!

No comments:

Post a Comment